I’m not mad, IKEA, I’m just disappointed.

Aah, the Bekvam. An Ikea classic I somehow didn’t own until this week. It’s a perfect little step stool–designed just enough that falls into the sweet spot between “utilitarian” and “look at my cute little step stool!” It goes with basically any decor and is sturdy as shit to boot.

But this week I discovered something sinister in the step stool section of Ikea. You know Ikea’s price guarantee? The one where they promise not to raise catalog prices for at least a year after publication? They’re kind of full of shit, it turns out. Here’s the Bekvam on Ikea’s website–

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What an amazing price guys! I’ve actually been trying to buy one of these for six months but my Ikea was ALWAYS out of stock. (Well, I only tried twice, since I don’t have a car and rely on the generosity of my beautiful and talented friend Cayce to drive me out to Schaumburg, but whatever.) Then this week the clouds parted, the heavens opened, and I saw this display–

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Look at all the stoo– HANG THE FUCK ON IKEA, WHAT DOES THAT PRICE SAY?

$19.99? I mean, what in the world?

I had a quick conversation with a nice but confused yellow-shirted gentleman–well, less of a conversation and more of me clicking around on his computer when he couldn’t figure out what I was trying to ask him–and uncovered possibly the most shocking deception in the history of Swedish step stools ever.

Ikea has discontinued the $14.99 beech Bekvam and replaced it with an identical birch model for $5 more. 

So they haven’t technically broken their price guarantee. Technically. But that does little to soothe the betrayal in my little meatball-loving heart. And to add insult to injury, I actually like the beech finish more than the birch.

So whatever, Ikea, you do you. I’m sure it has something to do with “the economy.” I just want you to know that know what you’ve done, and hopefully soon we’ll be able to move past this deception and towards a place of healing.

Oh, and here’s my new stool in my dining room/woodshop/temporary jungle:

bekvamjungle.jpg

I think I am going to paint it or something, because I don’t think you’re allowed to have a blog if you haven’t “hacked” a Bekvam stool. (Also, could we please stop using the word “hack” inappropriately? There’s already a perfectly good word to describe painting something: the word is “painting.”)

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2 comments

  1. I want to know why young people have to use words like “fuck” & “shit” in a public forum where everyone HAS to read them if they want to use the site. If you want to use those kind of words in private, that’s fine, but I resent them being forced upon me. Weren’t you taught what’s acceptable in public and what’s not? Or are you one of those people who use that kind of language for its shock value? Whatever your reason, I DON’T LIKE IT AND DON’T APPRECIATE IT! Whatever your talent is you ruin the pleasure for those of us who still believe in propriety and respect for others. A great-grandmother who prays that her g-grandchild doesn’t grow up to be like you!

    1. Oh boy, I’m going to have to strongly recommend that you don’t read any of my posts about Trump, then. Also, on the off-chance that you’re not using Internet Explorer, this might be helpful.

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